Of Nocturnal Thoughts and Laziness

I hate being lazy. I hate it when I go to bed thinking "Tomorrow, I'm gonna do A, B, and C and then conclude with X, Y and Z and everything is going to be awesome and I'm just going to be super-productive!"... and then morning comes and I'm hitting snooze on the alarm about 10 times, struggling to find the will to make a cup of coffee.

Lately, it's been part of my depression. I know this because I'm normally not too far gone to be able to say, "Ok, I need to get up and do the things." However, over the past two weeks, all I've wanted to do is sleep. It doesn't help that my energy comes to me much later in the evening. It also doesn't help when Carmen and I have some interesting mornings where unexpected events take place. Those times rob her and I of energy and willpower. But, it's just the change of seasons combined with impending holidays that's usually triggering it.

I'm hoping to make up for some of my non-productivity (I didn't go grocery shopping or take care of my car stuff this week like I said I would) by taking the lady and I to breakfast tomorrow at her favorite diner. That will be good. =)

Oh, and I'm a night owl. That's why I'm writing this at 3 in the morning.
That's also why I get up so late.

Three And a Half Years??

Or also, when I start something good and then... things happen.

Life happens when you're not looking. Seriously. During the time when I suddenly forgot that I was doing a blog thing for my sanity, I went sane.

You should never go completely sane. You should always keep a little dose of insanity within you at all times.

So, after my last entry, my ex and I sold the house. I kept on moving up in my job, still working second shift at the same place. I lived in an apartment for a year, finding myself and "finding my way" even more. I even shaved my head. Yes, really. You saw the pics in the previous entries, right? It needed to be done. The forehead thing was getting ridiculous, and so was the growing bald spot in the back of my head. Anyways, sometime during that whole phase, I got a girlfriend named Carmen. You'll all like her, she's a sweetheart (or at least like me, a bittersweetheart). After the apartment thing, I ended up living with her at her house.

So really, I kinda lied in one aspect: I'm not all that sane. I still have a spark of insanity. You'd have to be a bit insane to put up with some of the things I've put up with during these three and a half years where I wasn't here writing. Of course, there's Facebook, but that's just my haven for family, friends and memes. Oh, lots of sweet, insane memes.

I'm not going to go into everything that has happened from the last post to this post. I'll just let things reveal themselves. This blog will just have to... find me again.

Before And After: Skin Problems

So, I was looking through my phone's camera pics a couple of days ago because I noticed I needed to get rid of a lot of junk images. Mainly a bunch of selfies and images from friends on WhatsApp messenger. I noticed a pic I took almost a year ago of a major psoriasis breakout I had. I was able to narrow the cause of it to the multivitamin I was taking. Evidently, I was bdosing myself too much; only once a day, but it seems my body just retains vitamins and, because psoriasis is an autoimmune disease, my immune system goes haywire when boosted that much.

Here is a pic of my skin during the breakout, and a pic after I stopped multivitamin usage for a while.



Now I've started taking multivitamins again, but I'm bringing the usage frequency down to once a week. I seem to be doing ok on it, but I'll be visiting a doctor if I have any more problems.

Pigging Out

 

I can literally eat a whole 12 inch ultra-thin crust supreme pizza in one sitting. But I feel like such a glutton when I do. I can't help it. It's soooooo good! Also, I was just that hungry, as usual, when I got home from work.

 

Work was pretty good for being a Monday, though I found myself being more responsible for the team. I'm part of a good team that I helped train most of the people on, though, so I didn't have to worry much. =) Not much else to say about today. I have a headache, so I should try to sleep after I close this out.

 

Finding What?

You may be wondering why I named the blog "Finding My Way". Well, I really wish that I could say that I named it after the Rush song of the same name, but there's a problem with that. Even though Rush is one of my absolute favorite groups, I never heard that actual song until recently, when I was thinking of writing this post! I can't even use the lyrics as an excuse, because they wouldn't explain my reasoning behind the title. xD

See?? It wouldn't make sense. However, the musical part of my mind thought of Rush when I thought of that particular title, anyways.

Instead, I thought back on my life and what I was trying to accomplish and what I've really done, all my successes and setbacks. It seemed like I was always trying to "find my way" to or through something or another. Finding my way through school. Through my jobs. To love and happiness. Through depression. Through unemployment. To myself again after losing myself to a bad relationship. That last one is important, because I've lately felt my old self coming back, but yet fusing with the more mature and seasoned self.

I really feel like I'm on the brink of a breakthrough in my life, one that is just waiting to come out of my mind and heart, through effort and persistence. So, I'm really finding my way to my future. What it holds, I don't know, but I'm anxious to find out. =)

Super Bird Sunday

Today was the Super Bowl, and I really don't care much about sports. So, today was just like any other Sunday for me, although with a lot less traffic. =) After literally getting up at 1:30 in the afternoon again (I had a hard time falling asleep; finally went to sleep at 6 am or so), I made breakfast and basked in my still-very-clean kitchen. I asked my roomie (ex-wife really; long story) about the bird store she found, hoping it's maybe closer than the one I usually go to. I got the directions and called and asked if they sell my Thommen's favorite food. They do, but in smaller bags and they're discontinuing it. Strike one for that place. Well, I decided to go to my usual shop... Then like the lazy ass I am, I started on my errands too late and realized my usual shop would close at 5 pm. So, no choice but to go to the AZ Bird Store (seriously, that's the unimaginative name of the place). Once I got there, my first impressions were: oh how nice... Sniff sniff... Hmmm they just cleaned recently. Oh look! There's a macaw on his stand! Hi there, Mr. Macaw! Well, you could be a girl, but whatevs. Oh...

 

As you can see, he was quite tired and he has a crooked beak. Not the worst I've seen, but I really hope the owners of the shop are getting him treatment for that. Otherwise, I think he's healthy, just tired. Anyways, I get the food, a small package of Tropimix and look to see their food mixes. They had a good selection, but it also looked like they have a moth problem, and they don't seem to like cleaning the cobwebs off their racks and shelves. Strike two for this place, even though I could freeze the food and kill whatever insects are living in it. I'm not going there again unless I really need to. My usual place is Tropic Zone and I really have to make it a point to go there on Saturdays.

Other than that excursion, it was just grocery shopping afterwards, phone games and a couple of Lost episodes. Oh! I haven't introduced Thommen to the blog yet. Well, I'll fix that.

Ain't he cuuuute??

 

Kitchen Shenanigans

I'm writing this on an early Sunday morning because I spent my Saturday afternoon and evening cleaning my rather neglected kitchen. Not totally neglected, because I do clean as I go, but it really did need a thorough cleaning. I mean, when I see mold behind the sink, that's not a good thing. I don't have a before pic, because I didn't know what I was going to write about today, but I do have an after pic.

 

Yes, I do take some pride in a clean kitchen. I like to cook, and I don't just mean with a microwave.

 

Other than that, it was a lazy morning. Morning for me is around 11 am, but I got up at 1:30 pm because I really needed to catch up on sleep. Also, I was battling a headache the whole day. I downloaded a couple more phone games and realized I have way too many games on my phone. Oh, and I was listening to Dream Theater's new album while cleaning. I've been listening to it all week actually and I really should write my own review on it. They're only my favorite group of all time now, and I just got tickets for their upcoming concert here and I'm so excited about it and and and... ((splodes))